the Blessed

sitting here in a coffeeshop in downtown Greenville, SC with my very special, Amanda. just got in last night after spending Christmas morning with my beautiful niece and family then driving a quick 8 hrs to the Carolinas.

i say quick because it really was. got a phone call from my good friend Jim Trick but the rest of the time i was sitting (of course, because you cant do much else when you are driving) and i was grateful.

i am grateful that i am finally at peace after a brutal few years. i am dating someone who i not only love but is also good for me. i am, for some strange reason, more committed to "learning" now than i have been my whole life and i am grateful for the friendships that have brought me to this place. now for all those ready to find fault with the fact i didnt mention Jesus in the credits need to know that He is sitting with me as i write this.:)

We drove yesterday through the mountains for six of the eight hours and He reminded me of the gentle ones, the firm ones, the loving ones, the learned ones, the wise and humble ones He has surrounded me with. This might have been my greatest Christmas ever! and i spent most of it alone in my car.

i am grateful because of what God has done. the story that i started reading at the Cross is now being written with me in the story... with you too. two thousand years later we are writing the rest of the story. so what will i write? what will you write?

as much as i want to be grateful i spend much time wanting and reaching for a different "where" and for a different "now" - always hungry, never satisfied.

but...i rejoice that i can pick up my pen and write a new day in. its my story and it doesnt have to stop now. i dont have to be the person i am now for the rest of my life.

i can grow! and i dont mean becoming more efficient at life or more tame in crisis or satisfied. i can actually grow.

its a day later and i am still wanting more for my life but i realize that i must first "become" something before i can "do" something (great). i have a teacher who is more than willing to teach me and i can continue on not just to fight the good fight, but to win all those around me.

to win the souls of those around me.

so what is it that i want to become? i dont know if there is a word for it. im being honest.

im just not sure there is a word for it (at least in the English language).

"blessed are the peacemakers"... is this what we call those who are peace to us?

i know only Jesus will bring us to Shalom.... but maybe i can be an agent who sees and tells of the pefection that is to come, when all things will be restored and be at peace.

see what i mean? is there a word for the onlookers and escorts of the Shalom? if you know of it, please tell me. i guess for now "blessed" is as good an any.

so, for now, ill just say i want to be "blessed".